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LinkedIn headline translator

Corporate Human.

Paste the line under your name. The machine says what it actually means, scores the buzzwords and turns the truth into a badge for your profile photo.

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Honest version

Corporate speak—

Waiting for something passionate…

Already translated.

  1. They wrotePassionate about driving synergies across cross-functional teams

    They meantI care exactly as much as my contract says. I spend most days in meetings about other meetings.

    69% corporate speak · badge: I AM PAID TO CARE

  2. They wroteVisionary leader | Ex-Google | Building the future of work with AI

    They meantI say “we” when it went well and “the team” when it didn’t. The best line on my CV is a company I left.

    99% corporate speak · badge: I SAY 'WE' A LOT

  3. They wroteResults-driven professional open to new opportunities

    They meantI haven’t had a real holiday since the pandemic. I need a job and would like it to pay.

    99% corporate speak · badge: I AM VERY TIRED

  4. They wroteDisruptive thought leader helping companies grow

    They meantI change things that were working and call it innovation. I write long posts on Sunday night and check the likes on Monday.

    99% corporate speak · badge: I BREAK THINGS

Look it up

The dictionary.

What the most common LinkedIn buzzwords mean in plain words, and the badge each one becomes.

Open to new opportunities
I need a job and would like it to pay.
I AM OPEN TO MONEY
Passionate
I care exactly as much as my contract says.
I AM PAID TO CARE
Cross-functional synergies
I spend most days in meetings about other meetings.
I AM IN A MEETING
Thought leader
I write long posts on Sunday night and check the likes on Monday.
I POST ON SUNDAYS
Visionary leader
I say “we” when it went well and “the team” when it didn’t.
I SAY 'WE' A LOT
Results-driven
I haven’t had a real holiday since the pandemic.
I AM VERY TIRED
Ex-Google
The best line on my CV is a company I left.
I PEAKED IN 2019
Building the future of…
I’m building something. It has a logo and no users.
I HAVE A SIDE PROJECT
Disruptive innovator
I change things that were working and call it innovation.
I BREAK THINGS
Strategic thinker
My main output is slides about other people’s output.
I MAKE SLIDES
AI-powered
I added the trendy acronym to my title in case recruiters search for it.
I ADDED AI TO MY TITLE
Rockstar ninja
Someone called me a rockstar instead of giving me a raise.
I AM UNDERPAID
Helping companies grow
I sell things, and I’d like to sell them to you.
I SELL STUFF
Customer-obsessed
I answer complaints with “great question”.
I SAY THANK YOU A LOT
Lifelong learner
I start a lot of courses and finish none of them.
I HAVE 40 TABS OPEN

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