LinkedIn headline translator
Corporate Human.
Paste the line under your name. The machine says what it actually means, scores the buzzwords and turns the truth into a badge for your profile photo.
Honest version
Waiting for something passionate…
Already translated.
They wrote
Passionate about driving synergies across cross-functional teamsThey meantI care exactly as much as my contract says. I spend most days in meetings about other meetings.
69% corporate speak · badge: I AM PAID TO CARE
They wrote
Visionary leader | Ex-Google | Building the future of work with AIThey meantI say “we” when it went well and “the team” when it didn’t. The best line on my CV is a company I left.
99% corporate speak · badge: I SAY 'WE' A LOT
They wrote
Results-driven professional open to new opportunitiesThey meantI haven’t had a real holiday since the pandemic. I need a job and would like it to pay.
99% corporate speak · badge: I AM VERY TIRED
They wrote
Disruptive thought leader helping companies growThey meantI change things that were working and call it innovation. I write long posts on Sunday night and check the likes on Monday.
99% corporate speak · badge: I BREAK THINGS
Look it up
The dictionary.
What the most common LinkedIn buzzwords mean in plain words, and the badge each one becomes.
- Open to new opportunities
- I need a job and would like it to pay.
- I AM OPEN TO MONEY
- Passionate
- I care exactly as much as my contract says.
- I AM PAID TO CARE
- Cross-functional synergies
- I spend most days in meetings about other meetings.
- I AM IN A MEETING
- Thought leader
- I write long posts on Sunday night and check the likes on Monday.
- I POST ON SUNDAYS
- Visionary leader
- I say “we” when it went well and “the team” when it didn’t.
- I SAY 'WE' A LOT
- Results-driven
- I haven’t had a real holiday since the pandemic.
- I AM VERY TIRED
- Ex-Google
- The best line on my CV is a company I left.
- I PEAKED IN 2019
- Building the future of…
- I’m building something. It has a logo and no users.
- I HAVE A SIDE PROJECT
- Disruptive innovator
- I change things that were working and call it innovation.
- I BREAK THINGS
- Strategic thinker
- My main output is slides about other people’s output.
- I MAKE SLIDES
- AI-powered
- I added the trendy acronym to my title in case recruiters search for it.
- I ADDED AI TO MY TITLE
- Rockstar ninja
- Someone called me a rockstar instead of giving me a raise.
- I AM UNDERPAID
- Helping companies grow
- I sell things, and I’d like to sell them to you.
- I SELL STUFF
- Customer-obsessed
- I answer complaints with “great question”.
- I SAY THANK YOU A LOT
- Lifelong learner
- I start a lot of courses and finish none of them.
- I HAVE 40 TABS OPEN
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